The adventure of paper Edward
by xLion-and-Lambx
Summary: Edward was transported to our world, but in the form of a paper. What will happen? R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so one of my friends didn't want their name in here, so i used their pen name for fanfiction.. enjoy :)

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**Chapter One: It's a bird, it's a plan. NO! It's… A paper image of Edward?**

"Corissa, darn it, hurry your butt up!" I knew Yuunagi was impatient, but come on!

"WWHHAATT!!" I yelled back. Seriously, when it's the middle of the day and you're dreaming about the scrumptious Edward Cullen, you do no want to be interrupted by impatient freaks, like my friend Yuunagi.

"OH SHYT, THIS THING IS DANGEROUS!" What the hell is Kimberly yelling about? I went to check what the fuss was, but when I walked in the room, I was not expecting to see this.

"WHAT THE PUMPERNICKLE." Standing in front of me -no, scratch that- _floating _in front of me, was a white sheet of paper, with a cheesy picture of Edward on it. The odd thing was, besides it floating, it was speaking and making ghost like noises. Now that's something you don't see everyday.

I took a glance at Yuunagi and Kimberly. Yuunagi's face was as pale as Edward, and Kimberly… where the hell did she get all those cuts from? Right then the floating sheet flew at me,

"oh damn!" I yelled. Now I know where Kimberly got her cuts from. Apparently, Edward likes to give people paper cuts. "Jeez man, you don't have to be so aggressive." I didn't want to yell at him, but by the look on his flat, white face, he didn't look too comfortable hearing that.

"Sorry, I can't control myself, I'm just to dangerous!"

"Uh, no worries," I replied "just take it easy!"

I sucked on my now bleeding cut, and said, "so before anyone else gets hurt, how about you tell us what the bleep is going on?" Edward then explained how he was happily frolicking with Bella in there magical meadow, when he was abruptly transported to my living room. Now let my tell you, by the looks of this story, it ain't gonna be easy to get this sheet of paper home.

"So let me get this straight" Yuunagi began "you're a fictional character from Twilight… can I cut you with my sword?" What the fudge?

"Yuunagi…YOU CAN NOT CUT HIM INTO PIECES!" I yelled.

"Oh c'mon, it's my job to kill demons"

"HE IS NOT A DEMON, HE IS A GOD!" Yuunagi and Kimberly looked at my strangely.

"UH…" Edward began "do I have a say in this too? Because I must say that I prefer not to be torn into a million pieces."

"I'm sure you wouldn't" Yuunagi whispered, with an evil gleam in her eye.

"Don't even think about it Yuungai!"

"Fine…" then she added under her breath, "for now."

-Knock, knock- I ran to the door to see who it was. To my surprise it was Alyssa and Mariana. Good God, is there supposed to be a party here?!

"Hey guys, this is really not a good t-" Mariana cut me off "HOLY BULLSHIAGA MAN, IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS!?" Oh, no. Why must Edward attract so much attention?!

"I-It's Edward" I said sheepishly. I hoped they wouldn't freak out.

Suddenly Alyssa had this huge grin on her face. "OH SNAP, CRACKLE, POP! I want that paper…NOW!" she yelled and started chasing Edward around the room. "GET THIS DERANGED GIRL AWAY FROM ME," Edward screamed. Alyssa's smile faded and she obediently took a seat by the now dazzled Mariana.

"OoOOo, he is so pretty…" Mariana said dreamily as she began to lift her finger to touch him. However, Kimberly slapped her hand away.

"HE CUTS PEOPLE - STAY AWAY." Everyone then sat down, except Edward - he can't, or he will fold in half - and I turned on the t.v.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Cheap Disses**

Click. Who turned off the television? "Sorry guys, I just can't stand watching Teletubbies and hearing Edward sing along anymore!" Yuunagi confessed. I couldn't blame her, but It was still cute seeing Edward singing and dancing.

I was about to go to the kitchen to get a snack when out of no where, I was blinded by a bright light. When it faded away, we now saw two extra floating pieces of paper. One was a drawing of Bella, and the other Jacob.

"Oh crap, I'm a floating sheet of paper!" Jacob whined.

"Join the club" Bella said.

When I looked to my left I now saw Mariana running around the room yelling "blushiaga man" (I'm guessing a weird side effect from the light) and, Jacob and Edward were glaring at each other. Oh the joy. I can see it already, Edward and Jacob, tearing each others heads off.

"YO PAPEH IS SO THIN, YOU FALL THROUGH CRACKS IN THE FLOOR!" Oh, so Edward is going to start dissing now? This is going to be interesting.

I went to sit down with Kimberley and Yuunagi, but didn't spot Alyssa.

"Yo, where did Alyssa go?" I asked. "She went home because Mariana was giving her a head ache" Kimberley replied. I nodded in response and glanced at Yuunagi. She looked like she was planning some evil plot, but I was in no mood to ask.

Jacob's come back diss interrupted my thinking. "YO PAPEH IS SO THIN…"

"OH MY GOD," whoa, what's wrong with Yuunagi? "EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!" Everyone became silent, even Mariana stopped acting crazy.

Suddenly Yuunagi yanked out her sword and started pointing it at Edward. "I have had it with you Edward. You're annoying, you watch Teletubbies, and YOU'RE A FREAKIN' PIECE OF PAPER MAN! SO I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"WAIT!!" Bella said getting Yuunagi's attention. "Please don't! If you kill him I won't have any reason to live. He is the love of my life. If you kill him, you should just kill me too."

Yuunagi's face softened, and a large frown spread across her face. "Sorry, I guess I get a little carried away sometimes."

"Oh thank goodness" Bella said relieved. She went to hug, Yuunagi but she forgot that she was still paper.

"AH, WHAT THE HELL!" Yuunagi pinned Bella down "ever give me a paper cut again, and you will wished you never met me"

"OKAY OKAY GET OFF ME"

-sigh- I have to figure out how to get these guys back into their fantasy world.


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone has finally calmed down! Yuunagi's on the couch with Kimberley and Mariana talking, Bella is trying to comfort Jacob while he gives death glares at Edward, and Edward is... "DON'T CHA WISH YOURE GIRLFRIEND IS HOT LIKE ME, DON'T CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A FREAK LIKE ME, OH YEAH DON'T CHA!" ...singing along with my... IPOD? Oh crap! i new i left it in here!

"UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, OH. MY. GAWDDDDDDDDD!" uh oh, Yuunagi's pissed. Better do something before she attacks Edward!

"OKAY, OKAY CALM DOWN!" I said while stepping between the now frightened Edward and pissed Yuunagi.

"EDWARD, STOP LISTENING TO MY IPOD AND YUUNAGI KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM YOUR SWORD!" Edward put the ipod down, but Yuunagi didn't look like she would take no for an answer. Crud man, can't she just leave the weird/cute paper vampire alone!  
Ring ring, ring ring. Oh great, what a perfect time for someone to call me. "KIMBERLEY LITTLE HELP HERE" Kimberly quickly took my place while i sprinted to the kitchen to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey there Corissa, it's Mariana's mother, can you please tell her I'm waiting outside, because I'm here to pick her up"

"Sure thing" i replied and hung up the phone.

"Mariana, your mom is outside, see yeah!"

"Bye guys! Bye Edward" she said and raced out the door.

Yuunagi was now seated on the couch with Kimberley, trying breathing techniques to calm her down. Maybe, i should figure something to do to keep these guys from getting in a fight.

"UM, CORISSA?" Yuunagi said irritated.

"Yes?" I replied.

"I would appreciate it, if we go for a nice. Quiet. Long. Walk. May we?" Yuunagi seemed to be on the point of bursting, arguing with her would probably only make matters worse, so why say no?

"Uh, sure, we'll take a walk in the forest" i replied.

"YIPPEE, A FOREST! MAYBE I'LL FIND SOME PRETTY FLOWERS!" Jacob burst out.

"That's the spirit Jacob!" and with that we walked out the door, and across the street to the large forest. Did i mention i never been in there? Yeah, well the chances of us getting lost is 90 chance. Let's just keep that little secret to ourselves shall we... Oh crap i totally forgot, can Edward read minds?

I took a peek at him, he was floating by himself looking pretty happy to be surrounded by the green trees. This looks like the perfect chance to ask him.

"Hey Edward"

"Yo..." he replied. Is it just me or does he sound a little... gangster, maybe?  
"Uh, yeah. Um, can you still read minds?"

"SHIZ NICK HAIRS!" what the hell does that even mean? "I totally forgot about that! Stupid transportation must have tampered with my mind reading!"

"I'm sorry to hear about that." i said, but really i couldn't care less, i was more than happy to finally know that he can't hear my thoughts.

A bright light in the distance interrupted my thinking.

"OH MY GAWSH! IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE MEADOW, EDWARD, OH MY GAWD!"

Wow, didn't think Bella could yell that loud.

I now saw Bella and Edward floating really fast to the "meadow". They danced and twirled around each other, when suddenly...

"OH NO, A GREAT WIND!" Kimberley yelled and leaped on top of Bella, Jacob hid behind me scared, and Yuunagi just stood there bored.

I just stood there like a freak with my mouth open to the scene i saw in front of me.

Edward was now stuck in a tree sobbing while Yuunagi spread across the floor laughing at him.

Soon enough everyone was laughing at him too.

"You GUYYYYSSSSSSSSSS!" Edward cried "GET ME DOWN! WAHH! I'M SCARED!"

We all just continued to laugh at him.

"OH. MY GAWD. YOU GUYS THERE IS A SCARY CAT. OH MY GAWD."

I new it wasn't funny, and we should help him, but c'mon? HOW MUCH MORE FUNNY CAN HE GET?

"YOU GUYS! HELP ME! HE THINKS I'M HIS LITTER BOX! OH MY GAWD HE IS GOING TO POO ON ME!!"

oh wow.

"GET THIS BEAST AWAY FROM ME!"

We finally stopped laughing and i climbed up the tree to get him. Poor guy he had a huge piece of cat shit right on top of his face. Must smell nice.

I took him down and shook the piece of poo off his face.

"OH THANK THE HEAVENS! That was the most horrible experience of my life!" Edward yelled.

"HA, YOU DESERVED IT" Jacob yelled from behind me. Oh great, not again!  
"Oh yeah... well at least i didn't hide. I was manly enough to take the winds on. And i think i took it pretty well, if i do say so my self" Edward countered back.

"yeah... you took it really well." Jacob said rolling his eyes.

"Alright, you guys enough!" i yelled. "It's time for us to get back home." If i even knew where home was anymore. Everyone took a deep sigh, and started walking back the direction we came. I think.

Oh boy, i just hope we get back home soon, i can't stand here Jacob and Edward fight anymore. And Yuunagi'snot making it any better! It's like taking care of a bunch of two year olds.

MAN, i need to get rid of these guys before i get a head ache.


End file.
